THAT is the hardest part about being single for me. To have had love. A great love. An unconditional, honest, pure, and beautiful love. And to have been too young and stupid to have appreciated it. They say if you have chemistry you only need one other thing: Timing. But timing is a bitch. So here I am, single.
Not at all how imagined my life would be at I imagine I could have been happily married with a kid or two by now. Instead, I chose to walk away from the love of life. I guess I thought I could do better. I was only 19 when we met and 27 by the time I ended things. I thought I might have been missing out on other options. I wanted to know what else was out there. That was my biggest mistake and if I could go back in time and take it all back I would. In a single heartbeat. Enough to know that my soulmate is the one man I left behind at And now he is with someone else and I put him there.
Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? If you ask me, no way. What they failed to mentioned was that your heart will break every day, over and over again, searching for the love it once felt only to come back empty every time. Mandy, you spoke not only your heart, but the heart of myself and pretty much every other single woman. Your fears are my fears. As much I love your positivity and encouragement, which has uplifted and kept me going many days, I adore your vulnerability in also sharing the ugly truth.
Positivity can bring us together, but it is the bare common ground that binds us and reminds us we are not alone. Being single is scary and when I see a happy couple i feel like crying. Am so scared that il die single. At 38 I have never experienced true love. Surprisingly after being disappointed the whole of my life, I still believe in love. What is wrong with me?
Im the one stood waiting for her friends only to find out they have left with the guy i was bypassed by. I can completely relate. Single still at almost Left my abusive husband back in and wound up dating the same kind of jerk until when I realized I deserved better and decided to take a break. I am horrible on myself. Thank you for posting this Mandy…. I divorced my husband after 20 years of him struggling with sexual desires and then being physically abusive to our son.
You are such an inspiration in this interesting, crazy, sometimes lonely, but still forging ahead journey called the single life. Nashville is on my bucket list of places to visit and when I get there I would love to meet you! Thank you for your post. I relate a lot to what you said — pretty much everything you said. I was writing a blog entry the other day about a funeral I attended for a family member and I was thinking about how that side of my family was dwindling pretty fast. Then I was thinking about how my own side of my family pretty much ends with me.
I have a sister, but I feel like that is their own part of the family that they get to carry on. I will be carrying on nothing. I feel pretty sad about it. I just want to be me, with my strong faith and my huge sci-fi geek side. I want to be the grad student and the one who enjoys a young adult novel. The one who uses Facebook to keep up with friends but to also play social games.
You make me wanna cry and hug you. This is me as well. The kid thing is getting to me more and more everyday. Being 32 and single has been very hard. Harder than I expected are willing to normally admit. I see no flaws in anything you mentioned, rather perfection. I am almost 39 and 21 months ago I decided, after years of thought and prayer, to take matters into my own hands and had an appointment at a fertility clinic. It may always just be the two of us, but he is the greatest loves story of my life.
Someday I may be a wife but, if not, thank god a precious little boy calls me mommy. This was God sent. This journey have many ugly heads. I know I wont end up alone, But being single and 35 is not a game. I just want to hug you. I know how hard it probably was to write this, because that fear of judgement is REAL. I wrote a similar entry on my blog about a month ago and I was terrified to press submit.
But I did, because someone needed what I wrote. Today, I needed what you wrote.
I love how God works things out! Anyway, thank you for your honesty. But you know that the men are not perfect either!!
Marriage is 2 imperfect people focusing on the good in each other more than the bad. It really resonated with me. The good. The bad. Thank you for reminding to embrace these moments. You continue to be an inspiration, Mandy! Thank you Mandy for sharing! I can relate to each and every word!
All we can do is simply live this single life to the fullest. Wow, I can totally relate to everything you said. Reality is hitting home and I deal.
This hit home. I too am mid thirties and single and can so relate. Sometimes we can even become obsessed with the single status. But I try to live this time to my fullest as a writer blogger and traveler. We aRe here for a reason. Very excellent and very honest blog, Mandy! I feel the same feelings you feel about being single. Keep your head up and keep encouraging other single women in their walk with the Lord.
Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for writing this post and tackling this question. God bless! You seem to be writing everything that I am currently feeling. It gets very hard at times, but I usually try to stay optimistic. My previous bad choices in men have made me question myself, and I also had a man to basically tell me something similar to what you were told. That was years ago but I realize now that it really effected me. I needed this!!! I really have a huge issue with being 26 and a single mom….. My ex telling me if I was just this or that we would work….
Kayla, you are enough for YOU and your son. What your ex is looking for is someone to fill the voids in his own life. No one can do that but him, so let him do that work himself.
Thanks for writing this article Mandy, I try to stay positive and keep busy. But in those moments when I am alone in my bed I have those same thoughts. I am ugly, too fat, too nice and no one will ever want to be married with me. I throw myself a pity party, cry myself to sleep. Its not easy being alone or single, but I would much rather be single than in a miserable relationship. This made me cry. Every day I think I am doomed to wander this earth by myself. Just last night I was boo hooing because my kids were gone and I was all by myself at home washing clothes.
Thank you for your honesty. I feel that I am a very loving, compassionate, caring woman that I feel is pretty nice looking wondering why God would make me this way and not give me someone to share my life with. You too are very beautiful, thoughtful and just wonderful. Thank you for your message. I love this post. And LOL, I am still single at Married for 23 years…miserably…and slowly getting to where I want to be. The truth is, we all have those doubts. We all want to be what we see presented in magazines and movies. And we are all flawed.
As are many of the men out there. I want a partner…an equal…So I keep on living my amazing, wonderful life and maybe some day, in my travels, I will meet someone interesting enough, secure enough, funny enough and smart enough to make ME take a double look. All very true! Such B. So, carrying on and being me! I needed this. I feel like these were the words right out of my own head! You rock Mandy. I never expected to be here at this stage in life as a still-single woman!
This is exactly how I feel. Waited 5 years after second divorce to date, to get myself together, to learn to forgive and trust. Dated and then got into another bad relationship. Another man I was going to help to love me. I can definitely relate to this. Mandy — Single at 36, and can completely relate to everything in your post. It scares me sometimes thinking about what will happen when I get old — who will take care of me and love me… I put up a brave face and try to enjoy the good sides of it, like travelling or taking up jobs far away from home.
But deep inside yes I do feel the void. Have you sneaked inside my brain. Your words read like everything I think I agree with Jenn. Spent most of my 20s being silly and praying my period would arrive. I am 37 single with no kids with a raft of what if and if only. But until then. I will keep reading your blog realising. None of us in this boat are alone xxx. This is so timely. I am older than you and my husband left after 10 years of marriage. I may just remain single which may not be a bad thing. This article has hit the nail on the head.
No more self hate talk! Thank you Mandy! I do the same thing! Always wishing for something! More money, bigger boobs, less fat, whiter teeth, more time, more laughter. Wish, wish, wish. Always on the run, waiting for something in the future and wishing today away. Today starts a new approach.
Living in the moment with my eyes on Christ! Keeping our eyes on Him lets us walk on water!!! But rather, too much pep talk annoys me. And you just answered why. The bible says that we have this treasure Christ in us , in earthen vessels our bodies. I personally believe that you got to have those days that you feel weary. And I often found that during these times the Lord catches me best.
Very well spoken. As a 35 soon to be 36 year old woman, I totally relate to this post. Please give yourself some grace in this area. Thanks for sharing and I hope the readers that can relate to this post encourage you to just keep on your journey being exactly who you are. Be blessed! To friends around those of us going through divorce, be it currently or 5 years ago, I ask for patience. Endless patience. It takes a lot of time to work through all of the detritus of divorce. And with a kiddo in the mix? Thank you for peeling back some layers and showing the ugly truth. And yes, I agree that we do need to be open and honest about the ugly parts too.
I refuse to whine, wallow or any of that about being single. Not everything about it is bad. Not by any stretch. I can barely see through my tears to type this. I know it never will. No man can be serious enough or even know what they want for the future. Well done on being brave enough to face the turmoil inside, even though you may not feel strong right now. Your fear is so totally understandable. Hopelessness happens. It feels overwhelming. I myself need medication, too, and many days I still fight to be grateful and hopeful The ONLY hopeless situation is one in which you give up.
I just see from your post that you have or are considering giving up on a search for hope at all.
Let me say that again: You. But we are ultimately responsible for opening our hands and accepting the good things God has put in place for us. The help we lonely people need does require us to stand up, pick up a phone, and talk to someone. Single at 41…soon to be Struggling with being single. Two failed marriages wrong men , one serious relationship that failed and almost destroyed me I felt he was my true love , and most recently a year casually dating a guy that was not ready but I kept on with him thinking I could make him get there by being totally into him.
I was myself from the start but not a fit for him. I feel like it was outward thing about me and what I do for work , not to mention location of where I live as to why he has distanced himself from me. Have I not picked up on the hints he is dropping? Life not going as I dreamt that it would. They want the benefits of a relationship but not the stress of one and plenty of women to give it to them. This goes for both men and women.
Single life is not rewarding. You said every single thing that a single woman in the 30s could think inside and coild say outside thank you for these totally meaningful words. Thank you for this post! I am 39 and still looking for the one. The one who will not only accept my imperfections but embrace them.
I constantly put on my suit of armour and tell people just how great my life is. I have a great job, my own place and an adorable dog. But inside all I want is someone to come home to at the end of the day….. I giggled when you said some days you think anyone will do. I myself am 39 and have said that many times. Best of luck to you! Dear Mandy Where do we go from here? How do we change our attitudes so that we can be open to Love again.
I do believe we have created barriers for ourselves and have become stuck in a rut for fear of heartbreak. I am almost 53 and single for 14 years. This is getting boring but how do we leave our comfort zones? I think I may be in Love with someone but too afraid to tell him and besides this crush I have had for 11 years could be my way of staying single as a defense mechanism. He has shown no interest although he comes across as shy and flustered when he sees me. Strange how we can let time slip by… almost unnoticed.
The ugly truth needs to be exposed so we can heal and allow ourselves to be truly cherished the way we deserve to be loved. Your story is precisely my experience … people compliment me all the time… I am the only person that does not believe I am beautiful — bless your heart Mandy — let go and let God. Lately the guys that I meet end up being immature, have too many problems or are just overall losers. You inspire me everyday to be a strong independent woman. The right guy will come along for all us. I know… It will happen! I forgot to include that it would be awesome to meet you and would be awesome for all of us single ladies here to get together!
He tells us not to be anxious in anything to trust in Him to supply all our needs. When I feel lonely, I will pray and God will give me a sign that he hears me. The more we force the issue the more we will be disappointed. And in the mean time have fun with your lives and continue to keep the faith!! It gets daunting. And discouraging. Maybe I focused too much on school and then on my job. Maybe I was too driven and my tunnel vision kept me from meeting Mr Right at that frat party I passed on in order to get some more study time in.
This spoke the truth like nothing else I have read. Its nice to know I am not alone even if I am single lol. Thank you for writing this! I needed this today because I was starting to feel really lonely but I learned to embrace my loneliness and deal with it. It helps to be truthful with yourself and not feel like you have to have an answer to being single. This is a great article and I feel like it completely describes me in every way. Thank you for writing the TRUTH so that all of us that have these fears that we may not discuss to others know that we are not alone and that it is ok to feel like this.
Thanks again! WOW Mandy! Things have been real tough the past few weeks but by the grace of God, I know He has greater things set aside for each of us. Our best days are yet to come! Stay Blessed.
This was exactly what I needed to read.. I love the honesty and I have felt these emotions so many times. I hate being asked that question because I take the tone as what is wrong with you. But I have hope because I met someone a couple months ago. But at 32 I almost feel like I have preconditioned myself to expect failure.
I guess it amounts to getting out of our own way and letting things develop. But sometimes someone stumbles in our path when we least expect it and accept us flaws and all. Well guess what, being single is hard too. Dating is definitely NOT what it used to be. So, I pick myself up again and each time I wonder if this it… The last time I will go through that familiar pain. Thanks Mandy I appreciate your honesty.
Thank you for sharing this. But the bottom line is we are human. We have wants, needs, and desires. So what am I learning? So thank you-for sharing your thoughts. Thanks for the honesty. Overcoming our self-doubt can be harder sometimes than dealing with rejection or criticism from others. One thing that has helped me is to try to talk to myself as if I were talking to a friend. I would never tell a friend she was worthless or no one would ever want to be with her, but I tell myself that — even though I am a wonderful being and know that God made me who I am on purpose, with a purpose.
It can be a daily struggle. Wow, this is exactly what I am going through. I have said all these things to myself. Still do sometimes. I have been praying and doing a lot of meditating. But still hard some days.
I needed to read this right now. Weeping not sure of the reason and feeling tired of being lonely behind closed doors so that I do not allow anyone to see my struggle , I get tired of hiding the fact this process is difficult. Mandy, I appreciate this…you describe exactly how I feel. Word for word. No divorces and no kids. Mind you, he pursued me. So, I accept it. We are in this together.
So true. I am My son is And barely how to talk to guys. I have been trying to step out of my comfort zone, but I feel so drowned by fear. I was rejected for everything I was. I feel your pain. Getting past these fears are a serious struggle. I really love what you wrote. I am 38 39 in September a single mom, once engaged but never married. I too try to stay positive but its difficult. I appreciate all of the ladies here who expressed their feelings and you Mandy for having this blog available for us.
My wish is that we all find the true, honest, loving relationships we long for. Love and blessings to all of you. Thank you for sharing these very real thoughts and emotions. Just a thought. My heart literally hurts and I struggle to find happiness. Just yesterday I had a coming apart with God. I so desperately needed this post today.
Single at Looking amazing, wonderful size 8, thank you Pilates! I also love Jesus. I have fabulous friends. I attend an incredible church. I own my own company. I love so many things, all of which I enjoy. I am involved in just about every way I can be…. Prayer, tears, and fighting the good fight each day, to claim my life as God intends and accept His will.
He never promised happiness. His plan is bigger than my pain. I get it. I am weary of it and yet each day, I rise and thank Him again. Thank you, Mandy. You are not alone. I want so desperately to be a partner in a marriage. I have strong faith and know God has a plan in it all. Thank you for sharing your honesty! It does help to know we are not alone in this. Thank you for this blog! Sometimes I absolutely love it! I can do what I please, when I want or how I want without checking in with a significant other.
These were guys that I was interested in and they approached me or were flirting with me or so I thought. I have spent many days and nights analyzing what went wrong. I have yet to come up with definite answers. I wish I would though. I sometimes wonder if I want it too much and that maybe I should just let it go. I felt like you was speaking my story. I too was in a toxic relationship for years.. He was my first love and is the father of my kids. This is the year I turn 40!
Never in my life did I imagine I would be single by the time I reached the big This really brings home all of my doubts and fears. Am I pretty enough? Will he accept me as I am? So, kudos to you for being so empathic and really caring about your parents! In order for them to really believe they will be okay, they need to start experiencing it for themselves. That takes time. It takes creating some distance from their divorce. The sooner they can work through their issues and finalize their divorce, the sooner they can start to create that distance.
The sooner they have distance, the sooner they will start to heal. Finally, telling both your parents that you love them no matter what happens is HUGE! Karen, Thank you for the quotes. Many of them hit home for me. Without devulging the obvious, I have decide to follow my heart for direction in coping with this process. I have followed the voice of many in the past and never felt it was my path. Now that I lead with the heart, I am being outcasted.
And, in many instances, I have hung on to the past for far too long. But now that I decide to let go for healthier life reasons and move forward to the future, I am being criticized for it. All any of us can do is our best. If you are doing what you believe is best, then there is nothing more you can do. Thank you so much for these quotes! We have been separated for almost 2. The quote about not being gone line enough but being gone too long really hit home. Today I decided to write down some inspring quotes to cheer me up when I need. And many notes about things I need to remember as a single mother; financial tips, tips for raising a child alone..
I am glad that I found your page and wrote down many quotes from yours. Your email address will not be published. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice, nor does it create a confidential attorney-client relationship.
Divorce quotes are the same. Good divorce quotes can distract us from the pain and craziness of a life in turmoil. Here are some of the best divorce quotes to help make your divorce journey a little bit easier. Unfortunately, you need more than quotes to get you through your divorce successfully.
Divorce is a process, not an event. Divorce only goes as fast as the slowest person. No enemy is worse than bad divorce advice. Looking for more divorce help? Knowledge can help you fight your divorce fears. Quotes About Dealing with the Pain of Divorce You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. Above all be the heroine of your life, not the victim. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Divorced is what you are, not who you are. When in doubt just take the next small step. For almost 14 years of being apart, it was truly a miracle to see my whole family complete.
My brother's first visit in the US with his wife. Truly a memorable moment we will never forget.
Sharing a few photos of our family vacation last summer in Florida. Looking at them while I was snapping this photo made my heart truly happy. A proof that even if it feels like there's no hope, God hears your prayers and all we need to do is to trust and continue to patiently wait for the right time. Everyone has their own battles they go through everyday. No matter how strong or confident you think you are, you will always have good and bad times in some point in your life.
When things gets tough, you can easily lose hope without even noticing it. Having hope is a necessary tool to keep us moving forward and to never give up. Here are reasons why you should never lose hope.. Life is NOT Perfect. When we come to an acceptance that there is no such thing as a perfect life, we will come to understand there's a reason for every action.
Never compare the life you have with others. No matter how perfect others' life may seem, there will always be a battle we know nothing about. Having hope when life throws us the unexpected, helps us handle the situation better. Hardships are Temporary. I hear this often when I attend a workout class in the gym. The instructor will always say "pain is temporary! I learned to become more positive and responsible of my actions.
I learned that trials will eventually go away and are not permanent as long as we make an effort to make a difference. Hardship is always tough, but I want you to know that there is an end and it will come one day. Just be patient and trust yourself and keep your head and hopes up. Nothing is Impossible. Through time, life has proved us that anything is possible. Just by the world we live in, we have things now that used to be impossible twenty, ten and even five years ago!